During her fourteenth year Barbara became increasingly self absorbed by her male daydreams (in which she pictured herself as a male hero rescuing women in distress). Because she had withdrawn from school, her male daydreams were reinforced, as her stepfather related to her as a "pal." Barbara recalled that "we talked heart to heart, went fishing, built two tractors, took a Chevy engine apart, wore work clothes together," and eventually worked side by side in a factory. She said, "You see one of us you see the other; he always gave me pointers on how to raise a family." The two of them frequented bars together and engaged in brawls and fist fights with other men. Often they had to fight their way out of the blue collar neighborhood bars. Barbara became known as a tough fighter, a "king of the hill," someone to watch out for and not have angry at you. By age 15 the stepfather was introducing her as "my son Brian."

Whenever Barbara dated a woman, her mother became enraged and violent, openly berating her daughter, cursing her, and shouting obscenities at her. In order to placate mother, Barbara occasionally dated men (with whom she also had sex). She rationalized her sexual involvement with these men as necessary to satisfy her enormous sexual drive and to keep mother off her back. However, as a consequence of a rape, Barbara (15 years old) became pregnant and delivered a baby boy. At the mother's urgings, Barbara married the man who had raped her - marriage which lasted two weeks and resulted in her beating up the "husband," throwing him out of the house (literally down the stairs), and taking up her lesbian relationships full steam (in mother's house).

The pregnancy was quite traumatic, involving massive denial and dissociation from her body. Barbara felt disgusted by her enlarged female genitalia and breasts. The child, a healthy boy, was named Richard after her "husband." His birth aroused intense jealousy and competitiveness. The boy had a penis, an organ for which Barbara yearned. However, the fact that she could make a baby boy both excited and overwhelmed her. Immediately after the birth Barbara, fighting off an intense postpartum depression, abandoned her newborn son Richard to her mother's care. While Barbara occasionally visited Richard, she did not return for him until he was 4 years old. During those four years Barbara engaged in a series of frenetic, tandem gay relationships. She was profoundly alcoholic going on binges and suffering from delirium tremens - and while identifying as a lesbian, wore male clothes and alternately played a male/female role. (see TRANSSEX - THE IMPULSIVE PSYCHOPATH: BARBARA/BRIAN PART VII)