CASE 3: RUTH AND ROY

Inhibited Sexual Desire
Focus on Depression and Relationship
Problem
Successful Outcome

The husband was a successful 41 year old publisher; his 35 year old wife was active in charities and social events. They had been married for five years and had two sons aged four and three. The chief complaint was lack of sexual activity for the past three years. Roy felt no sexual desire for his wife, but did have some erotic feelings which he expressed by masturbating. Ruth complained of a total lack of sexual desire.

The couple was extremely sophisticated and intellectually aware. Both had been in individual therapy, as well as in couple’s therapy, for many years.

History

The couple had a stormy history. When they met, he was immediately attracted to her and courted her intensely. She was initially not very interested, but eventually succumbed to his ardent pursuit. Their sons were born within the first two years of their marriage.

There was trouble immediately, which was due, at least in part, to her mood swings. Since her early twenties Ruth had suffered from moderately severe episodes of depression which alternated with hypomanic episodes. Her maternal family contained several members who also suffered from depressions. The affective disorder was not treated with medication by her previous therapist and was regarded as a neurotic problem by both the patient and her spouse.

Roy had grown up in a family which was dominated by his demanding mother, who was probably a borderline schizophrenic. He had felt responsible for the impossible task of making his mother happy when he was a boy, and had only emancipated himself with difficulty as a young man. His wife's depressions evoked a similar pattern: He felt responsible for her depressions and at the same time had hostile impulses towards her. His defensive and angry responses to her real appeals for his help caused her to see him as insensitive and uncaring and made her mistrustful and fearful of abandonment.

In addition to these emotional issues, on a purely technical basis, their love making had never been very satisfactory. She had a moderate degree of orgasm inhibition which resulted in her needing lengthy stimulation before she could climax. He found this tedious and burdensome and became angry, perceiving her as demanding just like his mother.

Despite these difficulties, the couple loved each other deeply. Nevertheless, they had a serious problem with closeness. When they moved (emotionally) too far apart, they both felt anxious and moved close again. But at a certain point of intimacy, both grew anxious, and one or the other provoked a distancing maneuver. This could take any number of forms: Fights about his weight, or about cleaning the family parrot's cage, or about the maid, or about money, were this couple's favorite devices for maintaining a distance which was "safe" or comfortable for them.

Etiology

One immediate cause of this couple's problem was clearly her untreated mood swings. Depression is one of the common causes of hypoactive sexual desire. The situation was complicated by their infantile transferential reactions to those mood swings. He felt put upon and trapped; she felt abandoned and misunderstood. In addition, both had a problem with intimacy which, again, seemed to have its origin in mutual unresolved parental transferences. (see CLINICAL ILLUSTRATIONS PART VI)

About The Author
David Crawford is the CEO and owner of a Natural Penis Enlargement Girth company known as Penis Enlargement Group which is dedicated to researching and comparing penis enlargement products in order to determine which penis enlargement product is safer and more effective than other products on the market. Copyright 2011 David Crawford of Penis Enlargement Pros And Cons This article may be freely distributed if this resource box stays attached.